For years, I chased the “right” way to grow online. Every platform they told me mattered—TikTok, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube, X, Threads, you name it. I hired coaches, bought courses, studied trends, tweaked hashtags, timed posts perfectly. And after all that effort? Mostly crickets.
It wasn’t just frustrating; it was draining. Here I was, a 60-year-old guy married to the woman of my dreams, still grinding to prove something to people I’d never meet. I felt like I was performing for an audience that wasn’t even in the room.
Then one day, I just stopped. I looked at it all and said, “I’m done.” Done trying to crack the algorithm code. Done shaping every word to get more likes or follows. Done wondering if my post was “optimized” enough.
From that moment, my rule became simple: I’m going to share what God put on my heart, speak the way He wired me, and serve the people who actually need what I have to give. If they find me—great. If they don’t—still great. My job isn’t to win over the masses; it’s to be faithful with the handful who are ready to hear it and take the next step.
Here’s what that shift looked like in real life.
I used to approach speaking opportunities like a sales funnel. “How many coaching clients can I close from this gig?” “What’s the ROI on free talks?” It turned every stage into a transaction. No wonder I felt weighed down.
Now I walk in asking one thing: “How can I serve these people the best I can today?” Give them everything I’ve got—stories, tools, encouragement—and let the chips fall where they may. It’s amazing how much lighter that feels. And honestly, the impact is deeper because I’m not holding back, trying to be someone I’m not.
There’s real freedom in remembering our worth doesn’t come from applause or metrics. As Galatians 1:10 gently reminds us, “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God?” When I let go of chasing human approval, I had more energy left to actually help people—without the constant pressure to perform.
The payoff? Less stress. More joy in the daily work. Deeper, more honest conversations with clients. And slowly but surely, the right people are showing up—not because I gamed the system, but because I stopped hiding behind a polished version of myself.
I’m not saying quit social media cold turkey or ignore growth entirely. But I am saying: check your heart. Are you creating content to serve, or to impress? Are you speaking to give life, or to get leads? There’s a difference, and it shows up in your peace (or lack of it).
If any of this resonates, here are a few simple things to try this week:
- Pick one area where you’re still chasing approval—maybe social posts, client pitches, or how you show up in meetings. Name it honestly.
- Write a short declaration (on paper, not just in your head): “I’m done trying to impress _____. I’m here to serve authentically from who God made me to be.” Read it out loud. It’s powerful.
- Take one small, true step—post something raw, say no to a trendy tactic that doesn’t feel right, or approach your next call/meeting/gig purely as an act of service. See how it feels.
God’s not asking us to be perfect or viral. He’s asking us to be faithful, to use what we’ve been given to love and help the people in front of us. When we release the need to impress everyone, we get to live lighter—and that’s when real productivity (the kind that matters) starts to flow.
What about you? Where are you still trying to impress people who aren’t even watching? What would change if you gave yourself permission to stop performing and just serve from your real self? How might the Lord be inviting you to live more freely today?
I’m here to walk with you, one simple step at a time.