Ever tried coaching a spouse? Or child? Family member? Friend? How’d that go?

Let me share 3 lessons I’ve learned coaching my wife.

Before we dive in, she reviewed this to ensure her voice is heard. She approved—yay!

Coaching loved ones is different. As a productivity coach since 2011, I help clients build habits. But with my wife, it’s personal—we live together!

Ready to learn how to make it work? Let’s do this!

Lesson 1: It’s Really Hard!

Coaching a spouse is tough. Jesus couldn’t preach in his hometown—what makes me think I can?

The shared life makes it challenging. You can’t treat them like a client.

Expect resistance. It’s not about expertise—it’s about the relationship.

Start small: focus on one habit, like a daily walk. Patience is key!

Lesson 2: Patience!

I’m Mr. Productivity, but my wife is Mrs. Anti-Productivity (her words, LOL).

She values downtime; I thrive on momentum. We’re wired differently.

Some days are productive; others, not. That’s okay—nagging doesn’t help.

Celebrate progress. Furloughs or life changes add stress; give grace.

Try this: note one win daily. It builds without pressure!

Lesson 3: Lots of Encouragement

Good days and off days happen. Praise the good; stay quiet on the bad.

Nagging backfires—humans repeat what gets rewarded.

When she nails a task, I celebrate. This motivates without pushing.

As my wife says, “Changing mindset isn’t easy or formulaic. I wish motivation pills were a thing!”

Encourage gently. It fosters growth over resentment.

Challenges in Coaching Loved Ones

Coaching family means balancing roles. As an entrepreneur, I work daily—it’s my passion, not “work.”

But loved ones need space. Remember, you’re not an ER doc or pilot—productivity isn’t life-or-death.

Most tasks can wait. This perspective makes coaching kinder.

How Am I Doing?

I asked my wife for feedback. Her take: “Some days are better than others. It’s hard to help my hubby understand changing my mindset isn’t easy or formulaic.”

We’re learning together. Progress isn’t linear.

Make Coaching Loved Ones Work

Coaching spouses builds stronger habits—and relationships. Accept it’s hard, practice patience, and encourage wins.

Start with one small change. You’ll both grow!